The Bachelor TV show - What has Jason learned? What has America learned

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Bachelor - Was all the pain necessary? Does Jason deserve a second chance?

So What Did We Learn from The Bachelor TV Show?

Are you shocked? Disappointed? Not surprised? Feelings of empathy for Jason? for Melissa? for Molly? In real life, how could all this pain be avoided?

For the few of you who didn’t watch, Jason, the Bachelor, on reality TV show The Bachelor, thinks he made a mistake. He offered an engagement ring to Melissa in the final episode six weeks prior. He then spent 6 weeks getting to know the real Melissa - away from the cameras.  In the March 2, 2009 episode, Jason says goodbye to Melissa and rekindles the relationship with Molly (Malaney). Sound too much like day time soap operas?

The blogs are burning with negativity. From blaming the TV producers and swearing never to watch another Bachelor/Bachelorette show to being angry with Jason to wanting to shout out to the parents of Molly to pull her out before it is too late, everyone seems to have been touched by this program.

But why are we touched? Why the emotion? I think it is because we have all experienced at least some of the heartache that these people are going through. But is that heartache really necessary? We humans are very complicated and there is no simple solution. The match making sites seem to think they have figured it out with incredibly long profile questionnaires that lose more people than they capture.

A relationship has to start with a match. But what needs to match? After a reasonably good match, what then? A relationship can not exist without good communication skills. So, what if you “work” on those communication skills? Actually, good communication skills are built around good listening skills. So you have good listening skills. OK. What else? How about “personal accountability”? Uh oh. Those are two really big words. We might skip that one.  How about the mindset that a relationship only succeeds through failures? Hmmm. That is a provocative thought.

See any connections to Jason’s dilemma? I know what you are saying. Melissa wasn’t the right choice. That may be true. But why did he choose her?

Is it possible that “everyone”, including Jason, was “adapting” to be someone else? Is it possible that Jason found Melissa to be someone different than who she appeared to be under the lights and in front of the camera at all the exotic locations? Yes, the probability is really high that she was “adapting” or masking her real “personality”.

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