HR Humor: The Lighter Side to Recruiting

What are recruiters saying behind your back?

HR Humor: The Lighter Side of Work
Found on real resumes and cover letters:
• “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
• “Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”
• “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
• “It’s best for employer that I not work with people.”
• “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
• “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
• “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
• “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
• “Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
• “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
• “I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail.”
• “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
• “Personal interest: Donating blood—fourteen gallons so far.”
• “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
• “Note: Please don’t’ misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
• “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
• “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
• “References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”

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